Thinking of you, always
by Kasaki Kihoya
Summary: sigh.. I was such a newbie when I wrote this! Anyway, It's a crappy piece of work, if you wanna know what it is about, just read it! Romance/angst/tragedy A sort of but not really death fic
1. My thoughts are filled with you

Part 1

Kyo's POV

What is this feeling I have?

What can I call it?

No, what should I call it?

It's been there forever, but I don't know it's name.

What to call it…Admiration? Envy? Love? _Love. _Oddly, that seems to fit.

But, why _him_? Why my eternal enemy? Was it really eternal? Is there more we need to consider? To notice, to see, to feel?

Maybe this is just me, but "I don't get it!"

Argh! All these questions without answers. "It's so confusing."

Yuki's POV

What doesn't he get? What's so confusing?

I find it rather simple. I know what my feelings towards him are! So, why does it confuse him? What can't he grasp? Why am I even thinking about him?

Hah! That's easy, I care. Simple as that. Why do I care though? What makes him so important that he can take up hours of my thoughts?

Hmph. How do we know when to call something love? What is love? Is it just a feeling, or is it more? Why is life so difficult to figure out anyways?

Sigh. May as well face it. I love him. I guess it all depends on how he feels.

How do we call it something we don't understand?

Kyo's POV

God. I can't stand bottling my feelings anymore! What should I do?

Should I do something for him? No, too weird.

Should I say something about my feelings? NO! Way too embarrassing.

What the hell can I do then? What else is left?

Maybe…a…letter? A…note in class? Or am I just insensitive? Could be. Maybe? Maybe.

I just wish that it was so much easier to be together…

Both POV

Someday. Yes, someday in the future no matter how distant, and no matter how near, someday I'll tell him the feelings I've hidden for such a long time.

The End

Part 2 coming soon!

A/N: Each part is a different situation where they discover their feelings for each other. Please review Kindly! Be mean if ya wana

Don't like KyoXYuki?

Shouldn't Be readin' then.

A picture for your entertainment.


	2. and the only way my heart can tell you

Part 2

Note: I don own nothin' so don ask!!!

**Yuki's POV**

It had been about three days since Shigure, Tohru, Hatori, and Ayame left for Shigure's book signing tour. Leaving Kyo and Yuki in charge of the house.

I found myself walking to Kyo's room for absolutely no reason. No reason, that is, except my secret love for the cat.

Knock. Knock. Great now I had to think of something to say.

"What the fuck do ya want damn rat?" Kyo responded, an apologetic tone hinting his voice.

"Can I come in first?" I asked politely. "I'd rather not talk through this door!" Why was I being polite to Baka Neko anyway? Not like he deserved it. Or did he?

"Whatever." Was Kyo's simple response.

At least he was cooperating today.

In response I quickly opened the door trying not to appear nervous while closing the door behind me. Apparently, I failed cuz' his left eyebrow was raised, and his eyes slightly widened.

He kew something was up.

Damn! My hand were moving on their own. Damn my nervousness.

**Kyo's POV**

This was a first. Yuki, the-ever-confident-rat was nervous as hell!

If I didn't know better I'd say right now would be a good time to beat the shit outta Yuki.

"What the fuck do ya want?"

God! He was hella nervous.

I could really swear that Yuki was shaking right now.

"Well," He began with a trembling voice,

"y-you see… uh…um…i-i…"

Now, Yuki's hand was in his hair, his head bent.

"Spit it out already, baka Nezumi!" Maybe I should be a little kinder, after all, he looks pretty stressed.

God! I know I really like him and all, but I cant let him know…At least not yet.

Yuki lifted his head, a tear rolling down his cheek. Right then and there my whole body stopped listening to me.

"Yuki, what's wrong?" Why can't I keep my feelings bottled up like he does? Hearing this Yuki fell to his knees, sobbing every few seconds.

"…Why? Why…is it…so hard to say?" Was it? Was it even slightly possible that Yuki felt the same way?

"Yuki, just tell me. What's wrong?" Yuki slowly looked up, strait itnto my eyes. "Why? ...why can't I just say it?"

Yeah, bet he does fell the same. Then I slowly hugged Yuki as he slowly returned the embrace. Then, I backed off.

Yuki- Whom I was holding so I could see his face-had stopped crying.

Using my finger I reached for his chin and placed my finger right under there. Lifting his head to mine I slowly leaned in.

Lightly, I brushed my rough lips against his sweet soft ones. It was soft and gentle, but it was the best thing that I ever felt.

As I pulled away I finally let out my secret.

"I love you Yuki…"

Cliffhanga- bwa-ha-ha

Sorry- give meh some reviews and maybe part 3 will come up.

I look for loyal fans.

P.s If ya gets bored read meh other stories.


	3. Is to force my thoughts into words

Part 2

Note: I don own nothin' so don ask!!!

**Yuki's POV**

It felt beyond great just hearing those words come out of the

neko's mouth, and to feel his breath on my cheeks. "I-I love you too, Kyo.

I love you so much." Then Kyo leaned in for another kiss. This one was

rougher, but gentle all the same. It felt it would never end. Not that I

wanted it to anyway! Then in mid-kiss Kyo started to purr! He had gotten

so lost in pleasure that he was purring! I was so turned on by this, and

Kyo didn't fail to notice either. "Yuki…" Kyo's deep voice was moaning my

Name! It felt like I was in one of my dreams. Kyo's hands then wandered

up my shirt and along my back. I couldn't help but gasp and shiver in

pleasure. "…Ahh! Kyo…" I too, became lost in the pleasure as I went for

his shirt, forcing him to remove his hands from my back. I quivered from

the lack of his touch. Kyo then replaced his hands in the small of my

back. Kyo gently kissed my lips before moving his light pecks along my

jaw line, and down my neck. I moaned even louder as he lightly bit my

neck. He then moved his hands down to my hips. Sadly, then, to our

surprise someone knocked on the door!

End part 3

Bwa-Ha-Ha

I am so evil and there's nothing ya can do about it!

But I thought Tohru and Shigure were gone! Who could this visitor be?

Find out next time.


	4. AN Please read! VERY IMPORTANT!

**Author's Notice!!!!!!!**

**First… Dun-Dun-Duuun!**

**Review responses!**

Martywitch: i no im yer friend but

I JUST DON'T GET IT!!

Maybe, nah . . .

Me: That's just cuz ya don't like the pairing!

Kcscooter: O! fan girl sigh so hot... lol! but who could this be??!! HARU??!!

Luv Casey

Me: First of all, it's NOT Haru! Second, this is a tragedy right? Who in the Sohma family brings tragedy? Who would he be mad at if he saw Yuki and Kyo? No More!

End responses.

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Now if anyone want's to see what happens to Yuki and Kyo next I want at least ten reviews!

Otherwise the story goes nowhere! I don't care if it's the same person twice either. I just want ten. Plus I may start another better Kyo Yuki fan fic. But only if this one goes well. If you want another, tell me what you want to see, I'm good at working things into a plot. And tell me if you want a lemon. That helps.

I've almost finished writing the next chapter and I'll type it if I get ten reviews!!!

Arigato for reading this far!

Hope you like the story. So far…

Cuz soon you may just hate me… I say no more!


	5. And you know i'll always be by your side

**Part 4- and you know I'll always be by your side because…**

**Kyo's POV**

As Yuki flipped off my bed the door was slammed open. Looking at us were two eyes that seemed to glow even in the light.

"Damn cat! What are you doing to my precious rat?" The mysterious figure finally stepped out of a shadow revealing Akito's glaring face.

"I asked you a question damn cat! Or do you feel that as an outcast you don't need to answer?" Yuki put on his shirt and began back talking Akito. "Leave him alone. He had nothing to do with this!"

Akito's figure swiftly turned from me to Yuki. "You expect me to believe that my little toy?"

Yuki's eyes clouded over in sadness.

Akito had always wanted me dead. Now was no different. I just don't understand why he never killed me.

"I'll have to punish you Kyo. Yuki why don't you leave for awhile."

Yuki nodded and left me basically facing death.

**Yuki's POV**

I knew what Akito had planned for Kyo! It hurt more than anything to leave him. "Bastard!" I heard Akito's voice even through my closed door.

I loved Kyo, and I guess I always had. I didn't want him to get hurt because of me. Although, Akito would do worse to me if I tried to stop him.

'Isn't love wanting to protect someone even if it means death? If I truly love Kyo, I'll save him from Akito.'

As I slowly walked down what seemed like a never ending hallway, I seemed to crash into the wall a few times because my head hurt when I got there.

When my hand finally reached the door knob Akito turned it from the other side and stepped out.

"Shigure's here, wait for him."

When Akito went outside, I slammed the door open needing to know what happed to Kyo.

Let's just say I didn't like what I saw…

I'm sorry it's so short but It had to be for the next chapter to work out.

**KYO: What the hell did you do to me?!**

Why should I tell you? You should have to wait patiently like everyone else!

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**Yuki: Do I get to know what happens to Kyo?**

Next chapter yes, now no!

**Yuki& Kyo: Bitch!**

Yes, I know, it's a gift!

Anyaways, Turns to loyal readers Give me…oh wow, my reviews went from 7 to 16! Oh yeah! I want twenty reviews before I post the last chapter.

Yes, the LAST chapter.

Also I may change me penname to Kasaki-Chan… Just a warning!

Oh! For those reading Tohru's Ancient Past I finished the written version just three days ago I'll be posting it from me friends house though. Sorry! Next chapter won't come for a while.

See you in part 5- I'll be thinking of you, always.


	6. I'll be thinking of you, always

**Part 5- I'll be thinking of you, always!**

**A/N: Don't just read this and then abandon me yet! There will be one more chapie and then this shall be deemed compleate! The last one is called: The Years After! (Oo oO) Although I do need at LEAST 25 reviews before I bless you all with my short bonus chapie. Fyi, The bonus is happy and NOT sad like the last 3(?) Totally happy and short. Okay not **_**totally**_** happy, and it's sad but in a sweet gentle way!**

**Sigure's POV**

'Whew! I can't believe I finished early!' I screamed joyfully in my head. As I concluded a rather enjoyable stretch I saw my rice paper front door open. Akito. Whatever joy I felt quickly disapated, and turned to fear.

Akito seemed to brush past me in my fearful state. "Yuki is inside," she began. "Unless you wish him to defy me once again, I would go to him."

What could have happened to Yuki? How did he defy Akito? "...Yuki..." I murmered. When Akito's car pulled out, Hatori at the wheel, I ran as fast as I could to help my cousin. As soon as I turned the corner leading up the stairs , and reached the top, I nearly trampled Yuki. He was in front of Kyo's room. What...What about Kyo?

"Yuki what happened? Where is Kyo?" I knew I said that wrong. He needed comfort before he could answer. "It's alright Yuki, Akito's gone. He just left with Hatori." I leaned down to comfort him. His entire body was shaking with a force only Akito could bring upon him. When my hand touched his shoulder I froze. He himself, was frozen. This was much worse than the usual abuse Akito served Yuki. It must have felt like lead as Yuki causously lifted a trembling arm. With his pale skin his arm looked almost dead. One finger seemed to lift itself away from whatever warmth it had gained. It pointed in to Kyo's room.

"Kyo..." I breathed, but somehow Yuki had heared. At the mention of his name Yuki began to bawl uncontrolably, like a little child.

'It...It can't be!' I embraced Yuki, the way a father would his child. Because, believe it or not, I am not as perverted as I seemed. I only acted that way because I care. 'It can't be true...'

**Yuki's POV**

I couldn't stand to look up. Although my resolution didn't help much, I could see from the corner of my eye. Everytime I closed my eyes I saw the pool of blood and his lifeless body as well.

I couldn't stand the pain any longer, I stood, leaving the little comfort Shigure provided. I walked, more like staggered really, over to Kyo's body. I fell roughly to my knees trying to balence on my hands. My legs and hands now thoughouly covered in blood. I layed my head next to his, the still wet crimson liquid clinging to my hair.

"You can't be gone... You just can't! Every time... every time I love someone they get hurt. Now your dead...I'm sorry. I'm so...so...so SORRY!"

I nuzzled Kyo's tan neck in anguish. After that, I must have passed out because everything up til the next day is a total blank.

**Kyo's POV**

This searing pain wouldn't stop no matter how much I wanted it to. Everything that has been happening lately was becoming a blur. Is this what death felt like? If it was, it was its own piece of hell.

"Akito's gone. He just left with Hatori." That's right. Akito did this to me. Wait... Hatori was here? Why the hell didn't he help me then? That bastard.

It was only when a warm head was placed near my shoulder that I noticed how cold I was. "You can't be gone... You just can't!" That voice, it sounds familiar. Yuki? Yeah, that's who it is. Why is he crying though? Ah, to hell with it! My head hurts too much to think.

"Every time... every time I love someone they get hurt. Now your dead...I'm sorry. I'm so...so...so SORRY!" Yuki sorry? I must be dead already. I wouldn't be surprised if I was. Really, I wouldn't. Strangely, I sort of didn't want to die. I almost cared about how Yuki would feel. Why should I care though?

Everything felt so surreal, but it still felt heavenly when Yuki's neck rubbed mine. Was it right to feel this way? probably not, but do I care? no, strangely I don't. Why I don't is what I keep asking myself though. Maybe, just Maybe, I really was in love.

"i...l...love...you Yuki..." I tried and succeded to mouth the words, but Yuki had passed out. Soon we were both asleep on my bedroom floor. At least, I hope I was just asleep.

**Yuki's POV**

I awoke to see a glorious beam or much needed sunlight. I was still covered in blood and the light made it look worse. That's when I noticed through my grouchy state that Kyo's body was gone.

'Hatori probably came by earlier to get the body.' The thought saddened me quite a bit. I realized a while ago that I loved Kyo. I just never wanted to admit it.Now I want to scream it to the world in my renewed anguish.

Kyo wasn't comming back.

That was the thought that rang through my mind even as I limped down the hall to the bathroom. I think I injured my ankle last night though. Oh well I don't really care. I just want Kyo to return with that same prideful attitude glowing around him. Why did this have to happen? Damnit Akito, why did you have to kill him? Why?

I slipped out of my bloody clothes and disovered my right ankle was indeed swollen. What do I care anyway? The pain in my heart right now is so much greater than that of my ankle.

It felt exileratingly great to have the warm water run over my icy frozen body. I didn't have the strength to clean my hair properly though so I just let the dry crusty crimson blood wash itself out of my hair. After my shower I wrapped a towel around my waist and limped to my room on the other end of the long hallway.

Upon arriving in my room I got dressed in whatever I found first. Then, I tumbled onto my bed. I bawled like a small child would, and I didn't stop for quite some time.

knock Knock "Yuki it's time for breakfast, I ordered your favorite!" I lifted my burning red face from the material of my pillow. "No Shigure. I'm not really hungry right now." I heard Shigures footsteps walk away, and back down the stairs. I seemingly couldn't cry anymore so I grabbed a peice of folding paper off my night stand. I made a small flower. On the petals I wrote a message. I crawled across my bed and opened my window. The flower flew gently away, carried by the carressing breeze.

It was then I said my final words to Kyo:

"I'll be thinking of you, always."

That's what I wrote on the petals, along with something else. If there really is a god, then please let that flower reach him.

_"I'll be thinking of you, always, but please, please come back. Come back, and return to me someday."_

**TBC**

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One last chapie I know I said that last time but this is for real! So tune in next time for: The Years After!!!

I'll get to work right away!

But give lots of reviews can I have at least 25 before I update???? - Kasaki-Chan!


	7. The Years After

The final chapie has arrived After this is posted I will deem this story complete! ENJOY!

**The Years After**

**Yuki's POV**

It's been five years since Kyo's death. Now, I can finally look at pictiures of him without crying. Just yesterday I managed to walk into his room. I don't live with Shigure anymore, I live on campus at Tokyo University. I plan on becoming a teacher. Tohru also left to care for her grandfather.

Today was the fifth anniversary of 'his' death, I really couldn't help myself I wanted to cry. I haven't wanted to cry this much since Kyo died.

I decided subconciously to visit Shigure. Somehow though, I wound up at an outlet store. Without thinking I picked up a journal and payed. Then I regained consious thought. So, I continued my journey to Shigure's house.

Knock Knock

The door creacked open revealing Shigure. "Well, hello Yuki-Kun! To what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?" He might have sensed my undying sorrow because he led me inside without another word. "So it's his anniversary agian I take it?" My head slowly responded with a single nod.

"You should visit his room then I know he would enjoy that." I hate when people say things like that 'i know he'll appreciate it.' No one truely knows anything about someone.

I turned to face the stairs that led up to our old rooms. I walked to the stairs and went up. I nearly tripped over the final step. I still remembered that Kyo's room was closest to the stairs. Even after all these years I still remembered that tiny detail of our lives. I fell to my knees in the doorway. The pain that gouged out my heart was almost to much to handle.

Soon I stood once again. I stumbled into his room and sat on his old dusty bed. The familiar smell was comforting. The room looked exactly like it did when we still lived here. Strangely, I knew where I wanted to keep my new journal.

I opened the top drawer of Kyo's old nightstand. Laying in the corner was a small purple note. It was dated to this day five years ago. I read the note over and over again.

Yuki-

I'm sorry that everything had to come to this! But please read my poem because it's how i'll always feel about you. And i'd have forgiven you for your faults no matter what they were.

I'll always be there for you,

Just like you'll always be there for me.

You know i'll be there whenever,

Not just because i'm your friend,

but because i'll always be thinking of you.

If things begin to hurt I want you to hold on.

I want you to go on believing that there really is no memory ok to forget.

But if the pain becomes too much to handle,

erase the memories,

and feel no pain.

I did wish that you would stick with me wherever I ended up.

But I don't wish that anymore.

I couldn't possibly wish my fate on you.

I won't wish it.

But please at least during the time I have left,

I want to be near you,

Until the time when I must go away,

I want to be with you until the end.

eventually we'll go down different paths

Going our seperate ways,

And when we meet once again,

I'll remain silent as the wind

And simply observe.

-Kyo

The tears that cascaded down my face were not of pain and sorrow, but of happiness and joy. He was alive! Alive and well. That's all that mattered now. My hand did a little flip just like my heart, and I saw more writting on the other side of the paper.

I'll meet you at your secret base at 4:00 pm

-Kyo

At four?! It was 3:50pm right now! I ran out Kyo's room and jumped the stairs two at a time. I didn't see shigure, but was I complaining? I had ten minutes to get there and I had to hurry.

I'd say it was about 3:55 by the time I got there. Kyo was no where to be seen. I slumped against a tree and slid to the ground. The bark of the tree made a tear in my shirt but I didn't care.

"So you made it Yuki."

I knew that voice! My eyes went crazy trying to locate him. "Kyo?" My cry I think went unheard, "I'm right here Yuki." I heard a 'Thump' and turned my head to see a bright orange one appear next to me. It was definatly Kyo. He reached out his rough, yet perfectly tanned hand and helped me to my feet.

As soon as I was stable on my own two feet Kyo pulled me into a tightening embrace. His soothing scet filled my nostrils. His warm strong arms pulling me as close as they could. I returned this gesture of affection.

"Kyo! Your alive. Your really alive after all these years! I'm so happy!" I cried into his shirt which was one I never saw before. It was black, as were his pants i noted. Kyo ran a hand through my hair. I could tell he was happy to see me again as well.

"It's alright Yuki i'm here now. I won't leave like this again." I looked into his deep ruby colored eyes. All I saw there was love. Sweet neverending affection. He was real this was real, all of it was real. It felt so much like a pleasent dream. If it was I never wanted my eyes to open.

And as if the dream had ended Kyo loosed the embrace and looked at me. "I'm sorry Yuki, but I gotta go home now. I promise i'll see you soon though." I simply simled and nodded.

When he was gone I fell, but made my way back to my feet and soon Shigure's house. I went back to Kyo's room and still no Shigure. He must be being pestered by his author. I wonder why she still puts up with him. The drawer my journal was in was still open, so went to grab it. On it though was another note. Also from Kyo, dated today.

Yuki-

Meet me at the Kaibara High grounds tomarrow afternoon at 4:30pm we can catch up with each other. Then go visit Tohru.

-Kyo

Hmm. That actually sounds good. Sounds like fun even.

Then I saw an old oragami flower next to me on Kyo's bed. It was the same one I made five years ago.

"We'll always be together," I whispered. "Together for eternity."

_Sometimes lifes greatst pleasures are the one that are forbidden._

_Kyo-_

_"I love you Kyo and I always will."_

_i'll be Thinking of you, always _

_-Yuki_

_I'll always remember the joy when you were there, and the pain when you were gone._

And off went another flower being carried by the breeze.

It really is true, not everything ends in pain after all.

END!!

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So if I were to make a sequal what would you want? Don't put that in a reveiw

i'll make a survey and post it on fanfiction.

Be on the look out for a story called Thinking of you, always: The Survey!

Till next time- Kasaki-Chan


	8. The sequal survey

**The I'll be thinking of you, always: The Survey**

Okay those of you ppl who read I'll be thinking of you, always this is the survey for the sequal!!

Answer the following questions in a review, and BE HONEST!!!

1) Do you want a sequal? Or are you happy with what's been written????

2) If there was a sequal Should Yuki and Kyo be the stars or some one else?

3) Should Yuki and Kyo adopt children?

4) If I were to introduce a new character what should she/he be like and name?

5) Should the new character be a treat to Yuki and Kyo's relationship??? Or help it??

6) If you said yes to number 3 what should the kid/kids name be?

7) LEMON??????????

8)How did you like I'll be thinking of you, always? On a scale of 0-10???

Okay that's the survey! I'll make a sequal if too many people want me too!

(At least 10 people)

Bye-Bye!! (for now?)


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